In Me You Guys Trust
Dear M & M,
Whenever your ride a roller coaster, you have to trust that the tiny bar across your lap will keep you alive while the giant machine you zoom around in goes every direction possible. In football, every quarter back has to trust that his lineman will keep the 300 pound behemoths from ripping his head off each play. When you are old enough to drive, you will have to trust that everyone else on the road knows how to drive (this can be tough), that your brakes work, and that the engine runs (which will be when you are on your 3rd vehicle, if you're lucky). Life is full of examples where we have to trust things outside of ourselves, and for some reason, you trust me, a lot.
I know how much you guys trust me, because you show me every day when you fall asleep in my arms. I never really thought about you guys having to trust me when I thought about becoming a Dad. I figured I would be a pretty cool guy who would show you some cool shit along the way, and with some luck (and a lot of work from your Mom) you would turn out okay. We had raised a dog, and he turned out alright, so having a human that had similar needs, but could talk, didn't seem like too big of a jump.
While our dog likes me, he pretty well does his own thing. I throw his ball and feed him. You guys are much more needy, and put your entire lives in my hands. You let me clean you off when you drop me presents in your diapers. You let me clean you with a bath, when just changing the diaper isn't enough. You trust that food will always show up in front of your faces. You trust that I won't let dress you like an idiot. And finally, you trust that while we are hanging out together on the couch, you can lay your little heads on me, and go to sleep.
I really appreciate that you both trust me so much. A lot of this probably has to do with the fact that you just don't know enough about me. By the time you can read this, and understand it, you won't be passing out on me anymore (I hope). You won't be relying on me and your mom so much, so I guess I can go ahead and let you know how foolishly trusting you both are.
I once honestly thought that I could make millions of dollars by selling vacuums door-to-door. There was a time when I thought I would grow up and become a member of the Backstreet Boys. I remember most dates by tying them to a major sporting event. I have burnt Ramen Noodles before. I thought I could make V-necks look cool. I bought a 20 year old Buick Skylark with no radiator and a driver's door that didn't open, and was actually surprised when I didn't make the 2 hour drive home. I admittedly don't know how to navigate through a pregnancy. Another time, I got really hammered in Las Vegas and got married (OK, that one worked out pretty well).
I could list pages and pages of dumb things I have done, and make you feel even sillier for trusting someone so unqualified. Heck, I have even called this the Easiest Job I've Ever Had. But as I realized then, that is not the point. I am lucky to have earned your trust before you really had a chance to meet anyone else. While this a frightening, and pretty funny, concept, I can promise you that I have never, and will never, take it lightly. In any fight, the guy who is willing to get his ass kicked will win. You better believe that I will get my ass kicked as many times as it takes to win this fight as your parent. Trust me.
Thanks for reading.
Love,
Dad
Whenever your ride a roller coaster, you have to trust that the tiny bar across your lap will keep you alive while the giant machine you zoom around in goes every direction possible. In football, every quarter back has to trust that his lineman will keep the 300 pound behemoths from ripping his head off each play. When you are old enough to drive, you will have to trust that everyone else on the road knows how to drive (this can be tough), that your brakes work, and that the engine runs (which will be when you are on your 3rd vehicle, if you're lucky). Life is full of examples where we have to trust things outside of ourselves, and for some reason, you trust me, a lot.
While our dog likes me, he pretty well does his own thing. I throw his ball and feed him. You guys are much more needy, and put your entire lives in my hands. You let me clean you off when you drop me presents in your diapers. You let me clean you with a bath, when just changing the diaper isn't enough. You trust that food will always show up in front of your faces. You trust that I won't let dress you like an idiot. And finally, you trust that while we are hanging out together on the couch, you can lay your little heads on me, and go to sleep.
I once honestly thought that I could make millions of dollars by selling vacuums door-to-door. There was a time when I thought I would grow up and become a member of the Backstreet Boys. I remember most dates by tying them to a major sporting event. I have burnt Ramen Noodles before. I thought I could make V-necks look cool. I bought a 20 year old Buick Skylark with no radiator and a driver's door that didn't open, and was actually surprised when I didn't make the 2 hour drive home. I admittedly don't know how to navigate through a pregnancy. Another time, I got really hammered in Las Vegas and got married (OK, that one worked out pretty well).
Thanks for reading.
Love,
Dad
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