The Easiest Job I've Ever Had
Dear Little Ones,
I started writing these letters so that I could pass on the life lessons I have learned to you, and in the meantime, you would also get some insights into my topic-jumping, sometimes funny, usually overthinking, partially ADHD, and sometimes dangerous, mind. You will catch on through these letters that I take a lot of pride in being your Dad. I will even act like I have accomplished quite a bit by taking on the challenges you throw my way. Therefore, it pains me to let you in on a little secret: being a Dad is the easiest thing I've ever done.
As I write this letter, we are anxiously awaiting the arrival of our beautiful little girl. This has forced my mind to go through many of the same questions all over again: Can I handle the pressure of being the "all-knowing" Dad to another person? Will this little girl like me? Will I be too strict? Will I be a pushover?
These are all valid questions, but having a Dad is a lot like having your first car: you don't really have a clue if any other car is better, because this is the only one you've ever had. I could be a piece of crap clunker, but if you've never had a brand new Cadillac, you won't know the difference. You will just gleefully drive what you have, smiling like I did when I found out McDonald's will serve breakfast all day.
Once I realized that you will be the ones judging me, and that you have no idea how to judge a Dad (at least until your teenage years), my only challenge was living up to your non-existent expectations. All I have to do is just show up, and do whatever I want, act like a goofball, have playtime with my new little buddies, and we can go ahead and call that being a Dad! Done! Not only is being a Dad really easy, but it is also easy to convince other people I am good at it. It is like taking PE in high school, just show up and you pass.
Blowing a raspberry on your stomach in Wal-Mart will get you to laugh and smile, but calling you kiddos lucky, to have me as a dad, may be a bit of a snap judgement. And to think, all of the diaper changing, terrible smells, biting, and sacrificing all of my food for you, isn't even necessary. Making you laugh is super easy, and I can use this power to trick you, and everyone else.
Unfortunately, this does not go the same way for Moms. Your Mom carried you for a rough 9 months, and made a lot of sacrifices that I never had to (I honestly tried to give up beer for months, during the pregnancies to sympathize, but I didn't make it). Even though I really appreciate it, I don't know why Moms are expected to be Superstars 24/7, and Dads are expected to jump off the bench every once in a while.
We can hang out somewhere all day, she can chase you for hours, change your diaper 25 times, and feed you all of your required meals. I can walk in for 2 seconds and throw you up to an unsafe height, get a quick giggle, and leave you back in the room with your Mom. I then walk out in my perfectly clean, and poop-free clothes and hair, with a comment on how great of a Dad I am being, and you crying for me. I love it, but it's probably not very fair.
Some of my favorite things to do are play with you guys
and watch you grow. Occasionally I have to drop a little discipline on you, and
do some nasty things that come with the territory, but the only real requirement is that I have (near) perfect attendance at this workplace. I have changed some of the things I used to do (go out, sleep through the night, eat all of the food that is on my plate), but I wouldn't even call those sacrifices. It's the easiest job
I've ever had.
Thank you for making it so easy on me. And show some love to your Mom.
Love,
Dad
I started writing these letters so that I could pass on the life lessons I have learned to you, and in the meantime, you would also get some insights into my topic-jumping, sometimes funny, usually overthinking, partially ADHD, and sometimes dangerous, mind. You will catch on through these letters that I take a lot of pride in being your Dad. I will even act like I have accomplished quite a bit by taking on the challenges you throw my way. Therefore, it pains me to let you in on a little secret: being a Dad is the easiest thing I've ever done.
As I write this letter, we are anxiously awaiting the arrival of our beautiful little girl. This has forced my mind to go through many of the same questions all over again: Can I handle the pressure of being the "all-knowing" Dad to another person? Will this little girl like me? Will I be too strict? Will I be a pushover?
Blowing a raspberry on your stomach in Wal-Mart will get you to laugh and smile, but calling you kiddos lucky, to have me as a dad, may be a bit of a snap judgement. And to think, all of the diaper changing, terrible smells, biting, and sacrificing all of my food for you, isn't even necessary. Making you laugh is super easy, and I can use this power to trick you, and everyone else.
We can hang out somewhere all day, she can chase you for hours, change your diaper 25 times, and feed you all of your required meals. I can walk in for 2 seconds and throw you up to an unsafe height, get a quick giggle, and leave you back in the room with your Mom. I then walk out in my perfectly clean, and poop-free clothes and hair, with a comment on how great of a Dad I am being, and you crying for me. I love it, but it's probably not very fair.
Thank you for making it so easy on me. And show some love to your Mom.
Love,
Dad
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