5 Tips for Surviving a Hangover w/ 2 Kids
Dear M&M,
Becoming a parent brings many, many changes to your lifestyle. Sleep, privacy, time, a clean house, and meals to myself, are all things that have disappeared from my past life. They have all been replaced by this crazy, fun, loud, and amazing life filled with love. I did not mind giving up most of these things, but one thing that I can't give up completely is the occasional night out. Mommy's and Daddy's need this for our sanity (no offense).
Unfortunately, these once-in-a-blue-moon-nights take up that special time when you kids are asleep. Every minute we stay out, is another minute closer to you waking up. And when you wake up, I wake up, and am often a little under the weather due to my drinks of choice. It is not a funny movie where we go around Vegas from the night before and have some laughs as best friends. No, the morning after is a game of survival, and here are my 5 tips for surviving it (for when you need it):
1. Have a breakfast that is quick and easy to make.
I would recommend something frozen, such as waffles, breakfast sandwiches, or even a burrito, if times get desperate. Pop tarts and cereal are also lifesavers. Most days, I try to make sure you guys eat something remotely healthy. However, on days when I am suffering through a self-induced sickness, cutting up fruit can be very difficult because I can't stand to have the blinding kitchen lights turned on and the knife hitting the cutting board sounds like an atomic explosion in my ringing head. I have tried force-feeding that sugar-free applesauce, but my reflexes aren't fast enough to get the applesauce in before pesky kids smack the spoon away (Marshall).
2. Get some greasy food.
If this is done correctly, you can knock out tip #1 at the same time. McDonald's breakfast is always a win for everyone! However, if you can't get your shower and tooth-brushing in before your little ones are starving, then it won't work. Since you 2 have to eat the second your eyes crack open, I have never been able to nail these 2 birds with 1 stone. Odds are, you too will have to feed your kids breakfast, wait til they are done, drink all the water that you can, and then get packed up to head out for food, unless you want to roll through a drive-through in sweat pants and bed head. Keep in mind, though, if it is winter, a sock hat covers greasy hair, and sunglasses are a godsend.
3. Have a go-to recording, DVD, or way to stream, the shows that hold kids attention.
There are some people who frown on using the TV as a babysitter. I am not one of those people. There is only one show you guys really like, and I am not afraid to utilize the Repeat function as many times as needed. In fact, I would bet that the people who make kids' movies have this purpose in mind. Just as you kiddos are about to get bored and move on from a show, they start up with perfect song, funny noise, or flashing colors to keep you watching. Yes, it is annoying to lay on the couch and hear Mickey invite us to his Clubhouse 10 times every minute, but at least I am laying on the couch.
4. Utilize every single second of nap time.
This is one of the biggest keys to surviving a day where you get yourself in this mess. As you know, I never take naps, because naps are an opportunity for me to get things done without interruption. However, just because I decide to have a Mommy and Daddy night out until the wee hours of the morning, you still pop up at 6:30 AM. You don't tolerate slow moving, or lack of attention, in the morning. I am forced to get whatever caffeine I can, and instead of moving like a sloth, I move more like a grizzly bear, except I've been forced out of hibernation and have to move fast to avoid ear-shattering sounds. After fighting through that, and a couple meals, you kids are all for a nap, and I'm happy to join you.
5. Hide all the noisy toys, and have quiet games ready.
Baby toys are a lot of fun. They are all bright colors, very noisy, and tend to play music that cannot be stopped without smashing the toy with a hammer. If you try to stop noisy toys, then they will just start their songs over, and you are force to hear Yankee-Doodle-Dandee from the start. This can be easily avoided, if you just hide these kinds of toys for a bit. I recommend hiding them the day before if you can, because even touching many toys will set them off. As an added bonus, many of them feel like metal spikes when you step on them, so they need to be gone. In their place, keep out balls (soft ones only), stuffed animals, blankets, legos (if you've already dumped them out), and my personal favorite, books.
I like to think that one day you kids will appreciate your Mom and my efforts. I know there will be (more) times when you test my patience, and I am thinking that you guys hate us. But, there will come a day when you look back and think, my Mom and Dad did a lot for me, just as your Mom and I have with our parents. With 2 kids, we both get one no matter what shape we are in, but we try to power through.
I look forward to the day when you look back and say, "My Mom and Dad didn't even take the time to rest or hydrate after a night out, and decided to make the necessary sacrifices and take care of us instead". My guess is this will happen after you have a night out, so just remember these 5 tips, and you will get through it.
Thanks for reading.
Love,
Dad
Becoming a parent brings many, many changes to your lifestyle. Sleep, privacy, time, a clean house, and meals to myself, are all things that have disappeared from my past life. They have all been replaced by this crazy, fun, loud, and amazing life filled with love. I did not mind giving up most of these things, but one thing that I can't give up completely is the occasional night out. Mommy's and Daddy's need this for our sanity (no offense).
Unfortunately, these once-in-a-blue-moon-nights take up that special time when you kids are asleep. Every minute we stay out, is another minute closer to you waking up. And when you wake up, I wake up, and am often a little under the weather due to my drinks of choice. It is not a funny movie where we go around Vegas from the night before and have some laughs as best friends. No, the morning after is a game of survival, and here are my 5 tips for surviving it (for when you need it):
I would recommend something frozen, such as waffles, breakfast sandwiches, or even a burrito, if times get desperate. Pop tarts and cereal are also lifesavers. Most days, I try to make sure you guys eat something remotely healthy. However, on days when I am suffering through a self-induced sickness, cutting up fruit can be very difficult because I can't stand to have the blinding kitchen lights turned on and the knife hitting the cutting board sounds like an atomic explosion in my ringing head. I have tried force-feeding that sugar-free applesauce, but my reflexes aren't fast enough to get the applesauce in before pesky kids smack the spoon away (Marshall).
2. Get some greasy food.
If this is done correctly, you can knock out tip #1 at the same time. McDonald's breakfast is always a win for everyone! However, if you can't get your shower and tooth-brushing in before your little ones are starving, then it won't work. Since you 2 have to eat the second your eyes crack open, I have never been able to nail these 2 birds with 1 stone. Odds are, you too will have to feed your kids breakfast, wait til they are done, drink all the water that you can, and then get packed up to head out for food, unless you want to roll through a drive-through in sweat pants and bed head. Keep in mind, though, if it is winter, a sock hat covers greasy hair, and sunglasses are a godsend.
There are some people who frown on using the TV as a babysitter. I am not one of those people. There is only one show you guys really like, and I am not afraid to utilize the Repeat function as many times as needed. In fact, I would bet that the people who make kids' movies have this purpose in mind. Just as you kiddos are about to get bored and move on from a show, they start up with perfect song, funny noise, or flashing colors to keep you watching. Yes, it is annoying to lay on the couch and hear Mickey invite us to his Clubhouse 10 times every minute, but at least I am laying on the couch.
4. Utilize every single second of nap time.
This is one of the biggest keys to surviving a day where you get yourself in this mess. As you know, I never take naps, because naps are an opportunity for me to get things done without interruption. However, just because I decide to have a Mommy and Daddy night out until the wee hours of the morning, you still pop up at 6:30 AM. You don't tolerate slow moving, or lack of attention, in the morning. I am forced to get whatever caffeine I can, and instead of moving like a sloth, I move more like a grizzly bear, except I've been forced out of hibernation and have to move fast to avoid ear-shattering sounds. After fighting through that, and a couple meals, you kids are all for a nap, and I'm happy to join you.
Baby toys are a lot of fun. They are all bright colors, very noisy, and tend to play music that cannot be stopped without smashing the toy with a hammer. If you try to stop noisy toys, then they will just start their songs over, and you are force to hear Yankee-Doodle-Dandee from the start. This can be easily avoided, if you just hide these kinds of toys for a bit. I recommend hiding them the day before if you can, because even touching many toys will set them off. As an added bonus, many of them feel like metal spikes when you step on them, so they need to be gone. In their place, keep out balls (soft ones only), stuffed animals, blankets, legos (if you've already dumped them out), and my personal favorite, books.
I look forward to the day when you look back and say, "My Mom and Dad didn't even take the time to rest or hydrate after a night out, and decided to make the necessary sacrifices and take care of us instead". My guess is this will happen after you have a night out, so just remember these 5 tips, and you will get through it.
Thanks for reading.
Love,
Dad
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