The Day Marshall Stopped Loving Food
Dear Kiddos,
Unfortunately, I am not all knowing, even though it will be fine if you think I am for at least the next 21 years or so. Not every letter I write will be a life lesson I am passing along. Sometimes, it's best to just tell a story.
Yesterday, I realized that Marshall has stopped loving food. From the day you were born, you slammed milk and formula like your life depended on it, which I guess technically, it did. Then, we went to baby food, and on to real food, and you never slowed down. Vegetables, fruits, soups, and even lasagna (seriously, how is that a flavor of baby food?) never stood a chance. You were like a little baby Pac-Man, and the whole world was a little dot.
It wasn't long before I started imagining that you would pass your old man in terms of eating prowess. As you know by now, because I usually tell everyone within a few hours of knowing them, I am the reigning Taco Champion at the Juicy Peanut, after smashing the record by 5 tacos. I always think back proudly to my time, sitting at the table with my shirt off, belly puffed out and rock hard, drenched in sweat, and taco #19 going down to the cheers of the crowd. So yes, I started to envision that you could be even better, the next Kobiyashi, slamming hot dogs at record paces and shocking the world!!! But sadly, as it turns out, it is not meant to be.
This week, you have decided that food is to be thrown, smashed, hidden under you, and flicked everywhere. This has been a crushing blow to the future I had planned. At first, I thought giving tons of extra water and preparing adult-sized meals would send you off on the right path towards food crushing fame, but at this point, it only results in extra food to clean up and water everywhere. Sure, you are eating a small amount of the food that we give you, but your high chair usually looks like the gorilla exhibit at the zoo around feeding time.
One tactic I have tried is eating your food in front of you. You clearly don't like this, and show it by the way you grab my face like I'm a fish off the hook or the way you swipe the food back. This is still only a temporary fix and doesn't result in you actually eating. I have tried funny noises and the "airplane coming into the hanger" approach, but to no avail. You will let some fruit or sweets in, but anything green gets slapped away. You may take a bite if you get to handle the spoon, but this too is
only a temporary melody. You seem to be enjoying testing our patience and making us dance like monkeys, which is all fun and games. The only problem is, you don't eat enough, and cry immediately afterwards, because all of this resisting food makes you very hungry.
Your mom and I will continue to try different tricks to get you eat something besides fruits and mac and cheese, but if things don't change soon, I am afraid that you will be on your own to find food. After all, some of your words were: "Eat, eat, eat, eat.", so come on and eat already.
This is one of those things that I look forward to you enjoying when it's your turn with your own kids. Hopefully you remember the secret to getting a toddler to eat and you can use it against them for the powers of good instead of evil. Until then, I will continue to fight the good fight.
Thanks for reading, Love,
Dad
Yesterday, I realized that Marshall has stopped loving food. From the day you were born, you slammed milk and formula like your life depended on it, which I guess technically, it did. Then, we went to baby food, and on to real food, and you never slowed down. Vegetables, fruits, soups, and even lasagna (seriously, how is that a flavor of baby food?) never stood a chance. You were like a little baby Pac-Man, and the whole world was a little dot.
It wasn't long before I started imagining that you would pass your old man in terms of eating prowess. As you know by now, because I usually tell everyone within a few hours of knowing them, I am the reigning Taco Champion at the Juicy Peanut, after smashing the record by 5 tacos. I always think back proudly to my time, sitting at the table with my shirt off, belly puffed out and rock hard, drenched in sweat, and taco #19 going down to the cheers of the crowd. So yes, I started to envision that you could be even better, the next Kobiyashi, slamming hot dogs at record paces and shocking the world!!! But sadly, as it turns out, it is not meant to be.
This week, you have decided that food is to be thrown, smashed, hidden under you, and flicked everywhere. This has been a crushing blow to the future I had planned. At first, I thought giving tons of extra water and preparing adult-sized meals would send you off on the right path towards food crushing fame, but at this point, it only results in extra food to clean up and water everywhere. Sure, you are eating a small amount of the food that we give you, but your high chair usually looks like the gorilla exhibit at the zoo around feeding time.
One tactic I have tried is eating your food in front of you. You clearly don't like this, and show it by the way you grab my face like I'm a fish off the hook or the way you swipe the food back. This is still only a temporary fix and doesn't result in you actually eating. I have tried funny noises and the "airplane coming into the hanger" approach, but to no avail. You will let some fruit or sweets in, but anything green gets slapped away. You may take a bite if you get to handle the spoon, but this too is only a temporary melody. You seem to be enjoying testing our patience and making us dance like monkeys, which is all fun and games. The only problem is, you don't eat enough, and cry immediately afterwards, because all of this resisting food makes you very hungry.
Your mom and I will continue to try different tricks to get you eat something besides fruits and mac and cheese, but if things don't change soon, I am afraid that you will be on your own to find food. After all, some of your words were: "Eat, eat, eat, eat.", so come on and eat already.
This is one of those things that I look forward to you enjoying when it's your turn with your own kids. Hopefully you remember the secret to getting a toddler to eat and you can use it against them for the powers of good instead of evil. Until then, I will continue to fight the good fight.
Thanks for reading, Love,
Dad
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