False Advertisement
Dear Little Dude,
Good evening. When I finish writing this letter, I am going to post it to Facebook, maybe Tweet it, and if I ever figure out what the hell Instagram or Snapchat is, I may post it there too. You are already a master at getting views and Likes on these websites, so we should probably go through some ground rules. I bet that you know what social media websites are, and what they do, by the time you are a few years old. (Sorry, you won't be allowed to use them until you are at least a teenager, or at least 16, or at least 18). Social media is a great way to stay in touch with the world, but don't forget to actually live the life you are advertising.
Believe it or not, when I grew up, we did not have any social media, or even reliable internet for that matter. I won't bore you with a total history lesson, but here is a quick summary of how the internet got us where we are:
Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying social media is the devil, and in the old days we went outside, and technology is ruining lives, and this is what is wrong with the world today. These websites are a great way to stay in touch with the world, especially people you don't get to see often enough.
As you grow and learn and do amazing new things each day, I try to take pics and film as much as I can. (On a side not - great job figuring out how to turn off the TV today, now please forget this skill immediately) Even though I love to share all of these experiences with the world, it can be tough to avoid getting consumed by my posts. I have caught myself posting things, and then checking the post roughly 10,000 times every hour to see how many likes we can get. However, it is one thing to try to share with the world, but too much posting, and bad habits creep up in a hurry.
All of this social media has caused a lot of us to be very self centered. It is unavoidable. When you post things for the world to see, you start to drink your own cool-aid. For example, go post a funny joke or story right now, then watch as you nod, grin, and think to yourself, "Damn, I'm funny". Even as we become self centered, we try to remain humble. This has caused the overuse of something known as the "humble-brag". Here are a couple of examples, so you know how to spot them.
If somebody posts, and then says something along the lines of "so blessed". This means they just bragged to you about how awesome they, or their family, is at something, but now they want to soften the blow. No one wants to brag outright, so after you do, if you chalk it up to a blessing or luck, then it seems like you aren't taking credit for it, so it's not really a brag. For example, see this post from Marshall's 1st Birthday:
Post: "We have the happiest little guy in the world! Thanks to our many friends and family for being a part of his birthday! We are so blessed!"
Translation: "We are the most kick ass parents in the world, because just look at how happy our baby is! And look at how popular we are, we have so many friends! And I am not bragging about it, it's just by pure blessing that this all is happening!"
Another example of a humble-brag is to state that you are "ready for the grind" or "ready to make this your day" or "the hard work paid off" or "it was a grind, but now it's over". This is a way to brag about how great your work ethic is. You sound humble by saying you are willing to work hard, but the catch is that you are actually bragging about how hard you are willing to work.
These humble-brags aren't necessarily the end of the world, but I bring them up because if you do them too much, you will get an ego like Kanye West. You can't help it, if you constantly talk about how awesome you are, you will start to think you are more and more awesome. And I worry about your ego as it is, because you already act like you own the place around here. If I want to play with one of your new toys that I bought for you, you just walk up and snatch it from me, and then pretty much dare me to try to take it back with a threat of crying if I do. The way you poop and vomit on my belongings, and then look at me like "Hey, clean this up", and then start to cry if I don't do it fast enough, kind of makes you seem a little cocky.
Besides getting a big head, also be wary of trying to keep up with the person you create on social media. After you show the world what kind of person you are, it can be a full time job keeping that appearance up. It will be tempting to constantly talk about how happy you are, how much you love your girlfriend/wife, how much you love a hobby, etc. There is nothing wrong with talking about this, but let it happen naturally. Don't just say the things you are supposed to say and try to rack up the Likes and attention. Take the time to actually enjoy your life and the people in it. Then, if you still feel like taking the time to talk about it, go ahead and post.
You have caught me several times posting on Facebook about how awesome you are, and in the meantime you are doing something else awesome and I'm not paying attention. Luckily, you have found the solution by taking my phone and immediately chewing on it. At that point, I am forced to stop messing on the phone and fall victim to your master plan. First, you get just far enough away with the phone that I can't reach you, so I have to get down on the floor. Then, since I am already on the floor, I may as well play with your toys, right? And then you do something really diabolical, you smile at me really big, so now I feel bad even wanting the phone back, and I forget about it. So then I don't talk about how awesome you are being, I just have to live it in the real world.
I no longer try to post on Facebook what I think I am supposed to post as a father and husband, but rather, I am trying to be the best father and husband I can (humble-brag?) If some posts come, then so be it. So once again, thank you for teaching me a lesson, so I can teach it to you.
Use social media to post about your life, and if you don't like what you are posting, then change your life, not the posts. And if your life is changing in a way you don't like, don't keep riding the posts out to keep up the appearance. Your life is like a business, and social media is a type of advertising for it. Don't use false advertisement.
Love,
Dad
Good evening. When I finish writing this letter, I am going to post it to Facebook, maybe Tweet it, and if I ever figure out what the hell Instagram or Snapchat is, I may post it there too. You are already a master at getting views and Likes on these websites, so we should probably go through some ground rules. I bet that you know what social media websites are, and what they do, by the time you are a few years old. (Sorry, you won't be allowed to use them until you are at least a teenager, or at least 16, or at least 18). Social media is a great way to stay in touch with the world, but don't forget to actually live the life you are advertising.
Believe it or not, when I grew up, we did not have any social media, or even reliable internet for that matter. I won't bore you with a total history lesson, but here is a quick summary of how the internet got us where we are:
- First, we had static, loud, slow dial up internet, which we used to "electronic mail"
- Next, we could instant message each other. Plan ahead of time, get online, pull up a program, wait for your friends to get logged in, then we could message instantly!
- Then came something called MySpace
- Then Facebook, which only had college aged kids (mostly posts of partying)
- Then came Facebook, with parents (had to avoid friending them so they wouldn't see the posts)
- Then came Facebook, with grandparents (now delete all partying posts)
- Then came Facebook, with crap like Farmville and memory games, so you have to block your grandparents and half of your friends who won't stop inviting you to play
- Then came Facebook with advertisements and companies
- Then came Facebook where everyone is a political expert
- I have no idea when Twitter came along
- I have no idea when Instagram showed up, and I still don't get it
- Snapchat: See Instagram
Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying social media is the devil, and in the old days we went outside, and technology is ruining lives, and this is what is wrong with the world today. These websites are a great way to stay in touch with the world, especially people you don't get to see often enough.
As you grow and learn and do amazing new things each day, I try to take pics and film as much as I can. (On a side not - great job figuring out how to turn off the TV today, now please forget this skill immediately) Even though I love to share all of these experiences with the world, it can be tough to avoid getting consumed by my posts. I have caught myself posting things, and then checking the post roughly 10,000 times every hour to see how many likes we can get. However, it is one thing to try to share with the world, but too much posting, and bad habits creep up in a hurry.
All of this social media has caused a lot of us to be very self centered. It is unavoidable. When you post things for the world to see, you start to drink your own cool-aid. For example, go post a funny joke or story right now, then watch as you nod, grin, and think to yourself, "Damn, I'm funny". Even as we become self centered, we try to remain humble. This has caused the overuse of something known as the "humble-brag". Here are a couple of examples, so you know how to spot them.
If somebody posts, and then says something along the lines of "so blessed". This means they just bragged to you about how awesome they, or their family, is at something, but now they want to soften the blow. No one wants to brag outright, so after you do, if you chalk it up to a blessing or luck, then it seems like you aren't taking credit for it, so it's not really a brag. For example, see this post from Marshall's 1st Birthday:
Post: "We have the happiest little guy in the world! Thanks to our many friends and family for being a part of his birthday! We are so blessed!"
Translation: "We are the most kick ass parents in the world, because just look at how happy our baby is! And look at how popular we are, we have so many friends! And I am not bragging about it, it's just by pure blessing that this all is happening!"
Another example of a humble-brag is to state that you are "ready for the grind" or "ready to make this your day" or "the hard work paid off" or "it was a grind, but now it's over". This is a way to brag about how great your work ethic is. You sound humble by saying you are willing to work hard, but the catch is that you are actually bragging about how hard you are willing to work.
These humble-brags aren't necessarily the end of the world, but I bring them up because if you do them too much, you will get an ego like Kanye West. You can't help it, if you constantly talk about how awesome you are, you will start to think you are more and more awesome. And I worry about your ego as it is, because you already act like you own the place around here. If I want to play with one of your new toys that I bought for you, you just walk up and snatch it from me, and then pretty much dare me to try to take it back with a threat of crying if I do. The way you poop and vomit on my belongings, and then look at me like "Hey, clean this up", and then start to cry if I don't do it fast enough, kind of makes you seem a little cocky.
Besides getting a big head, also be wary of trying to keep up with the person you create on social media. After you show the world what kind of person you are, it can be a full time job keeping that appearance up. It will be tempting to constantly talk about how happy you are, how much you love your girlfriend/wife, how much you love a hobby, etc. There is nothing wrong with talking about this, but let it happen naturally. Don't just say the things you are supposed to say and try to rack up the Likes and attention. Take the time to actually enjoy your life and the people in it. Then, if you still feel like taking the time to talk about it, go ahead and post.
You have caught me several times posting on Facebook about how awesome you are, and in the meantime you are doing something else awesome and I'm not paying attention. Luckily, you have found the solution by taking my phone and immediately chewing on it. At that point, I am forced to stop messing on the phone and fall victim to your master plan. First, you get just far enough away with the phone that I can't reach you, so I have to get down on the floor. Then, since I am already on the floor, I may as well play with your toys, right? And then you do something really diabolical, you smile at me really big, so now I feel bad even wanting the phone back, and I forget about it. So then I don't talk about how awesome you are being, I just have to live it in the real world.I no longer try to post on Facebook what I think I am supposed to post as a father and husband, but rather, I am trying to be the best father and husband I can (humble-brag?) If some posts come, then so be it. So once again, thank you for teaching me a lesson, so I can teach it to you.
Use social media to post about your life, and if you don't like what you are posting, then change your life, not the posts. And if your life is changing in a way you don't like, don't keep riding the posts out to keep up the appearance. Your life is like a business, and social media is a type of advertising for it. Don't use false advertisement.
Love,
Dad
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