New Wheels

Dear M & M,

  You guys have been around for almost 2 years now. A lot of things have changed: the house is always a wreck, a peaceful meal doesn't exist, my clothes always have some kind of human waste on them, and silence now scares me. These things are all changes, but don't really prove I am a parent. Last week, we went all in to show the world once and for all that we have 2 kids. We got a family-friendly vehicle.

Mom Car, Mom Jeans

  I have had 3 cars in my earlier life: 1991 GMC Jimmy, 1993 Buick Skylark, and 1999 Chevy Blazer. These vehicles all defined a certain era in my life (one where I was broke). Then, your Mom bought me a brand new 2014 Chevy Silverado crew cab truck. Unfortunately, to get it, we had to trade off the most badass car she had ever owned, a Dodge Challenger.

  Reality sank in very quick that we were parents when we realized, shortly after Marshall was born, that a 2-door, low riding, hot rod was a pain, because throwing a car seat in the back sucked. We had driven all over the country in that car. I think it is fair to say we got our money's worth out of it, but it was time for something 4-door, and a new truck would serve several purposes for us. However, that still left us with one of my run down old cars. After yet another weekend-long project a few weeks ago, we decided it was time to get another new vehicle.

  The truck would return to being mine, so that meant this new vehicle would be your Mom's. We always look around and price houses and cars, so we had a good idea of what we wanted. She fell in love with a Cadillac SRX, a crossover, which means its half sedan, half SUV. This gorgeous car was priced right, so we had the dealer set it aside, and we showed up with it. We had every intention of getting rid of my old beater, so we loaded the family into it, and drove to the dealer.

  We quickly got a tour of the Cadillac, and it was everything we thought it was. Every feature was powered, innovative, and sharp. Since you guys would have to ride in it, we decided it was best to go ahead and load your gigantic car seats into the back seat. There were TV's in the back of the head rests, so you guys were about to be in car riding heaven. Unfortunately, that TV was 5 inches from your faces, because the backseat wasn't big enough.

  We all crammed into the car. Marshall's feet didn't fit, so he began to kick the headrest. Maggie started whining, although I doubt it had anything to do with the car. Your Mom climbed in the driver's seat, already chuckling at the small space in the car, and I got into the passenger side. It took me a few attempts, and when I finally made it, my knees were sideways and pressing on the dashboard. The salesman then asked "Well, Weymouths, what do you guys think?!".

To which I replied: "Well, we hate it."

  We did get a quick test drive in, and drove that car pretty hard, but we couldn't wait to get out. I decided to look around some before we headed back home, and next thing I know we were in a full size SUV, which happened to have every feature known to man. The salesman also asked  if we wanted to check out minivans, then apologized after one quick glance from your Mom (don't worry, you will learn to know this look soon enough). Unfortunately, every other vehicle we sat in didn't measure up, because your Mom was already in love.

  A few hours later, after 2 quick calls to mechanics we know, several small footprints added to a display boat in the store, and more negotiating than even I care for, we were leaving in our new family vehicle. It has all those features, but here is what excited us the most: folding down 3rd row seat, easy access to 2 rear bucket seats, and plenty of room. Congratulations kids, this week was the one in which you took over another aspect of our lives. We now own a family friendly vehicle. Here we come: soccer games, slow road trips filled with bathroom breaks, 5 years old french fries under the seats, and understanding head nods from parents stopped at intersections who share our struggle.

  After all, our car is just another price we are glad to pay for you two.

Thanks for reading.

Love,
Dad