Mom Blog #2: Coming to a Co-Sleeping Arrangement

Dear Marshall and Maggie,

Parenting can be a dog-eat-dog world, or rather, a mom-eat-mom world. For whatever reason, every issue when it comes to raising kids is a fierce debate. Mommies in this corner ready to shame mommies in that corner. The sides are so polarized that there is no middle ground. Breast-fed vs bottle-fed.  To immunize or not to immunize. (This is science, people! You must immunize!) There are so many other hot topics I could give you as an example, but I want to focus on this one for the purposes of this blog: co-sleeping.

 When I was pregnant, sleeping comfortably was a huge issue, so obviously no babies or kids were going to sleep in bed with me, ever. After months of research, I planned on setting up strict sleeping patterns from day one to prevent such a thing. I've seen people let a small child sleep with them because it was easier than getting out of bed and putting them back to sleep in their own bed.  Then that turns into a struggle to get them into their own beds later. 

I was never going to give you kids the option of your bed or mine, and I was pretty lucky that the both of you love sleep as much as I do, and you both fell into a routine pretty easily.

By two months, Marshall was sleeping through the night, 8 to 10 hours at a time and Maggie wasn't far behind. She was doing the same thing by three months. As a matter of fact, Maggie started sleeping through the night on Christmas. It was the best present I could have ever received.  You both were very independent and didn't want to be cuddled as infants. You both preferred to be in your own space and swaddled up all nice and tight. You were my own little baby burritos, although I still can't wrap a burrito without losing all of my fillings.

 When the time came to kick Maggie out of the bassinet in our room, that meant we had to kick Marshall out of the crib.  He was moved to a toddler bed and had the new found freedom of getting out of bed whenever he pleased. This happened to be the same time he was getting his canine teeth on the top and bottom, which is the only thing that would mess with his sleep patterns. So every night he would get out of bed and come to my room, whining, I would grab him and toss him between me and your daddy. He and I would go right back to sleep with minimal interruption, just the few kicks to the back of the head or ribs. I knew I was setting up bad habits, but I was getting more sleep this way.  I was just getting my sleep back with no more nighttime feedings for Maggie, so I wasn't about to give that up.

The other thing I realized is that co-sleeping is more than just being convenient. At 18 months old, Marshall is just now getting into cuddling and I love it! I can't believe I have been missing out on this all this time, because you kids had to be so independent from day one! Marshall just cuddles right in and starts playing with my hair like he was made for cuddling.  Not to mention, this time with you guys is flying by! There will come a day when you are too big to get up in the middle of the night and come crawl between your dad and I, and you will know it and I will know it. Maggie, you are too little just yet, but there will be a day when you are too big too, so I am going to enjoy every single night of sleeping four people across this queen bed, because I know these nights are limited.

 My point about co-sleeping is that you have to find what is right for you. I had ideas that changed with the needs and wants of the family. It's not up to me to tell somebody what is right, and I hope nobody tries to tell me what is right. After all, we parents are all just trying to keep our heads above water until that glorious day you guys turn 18, and our job is done!

Love always,

Mommy