5 Lessons that Our Heroes Taught Me to Pass On

M&M,

This time of year we like to honor those people who chose to make a living in one of the most difficult ways possible. Veterans are very brave people who chose to make sacrifices in the name of service. As we celebrate them I would like to remind you of some of the lessons they teach us.

1. When a job needs to be done, just do it. As you know, I have many people that I admire. Many of these are people who are famous for their success, which is often sporting accomplishments. There are tons of reasons to respect and be a fan of all these people, but one man, Pat Tillman, has always stood a notch above everyone else.

For little background, Tillman was a college and then professional football star. When he was on the cusp of getting a major payday from the NFL, he turned it down because he heard wanted to do something more important, to go and defend our country. His story ended up a tragic one, as he was killed in the line of duty as an Army Ranger, but his legacy is an important one, nonetheless. His actions should demonstrate very clearly that even though there are things we would rather be doing, sometimes you just have to do what needs to be done. One of his most famous quotes is "I haven't really done a damn thing", which is how he responded when people asked why he would leave the limelight to go serve. 

Pat is very famous, because of his background as an athlete, but nearly every veteran out there has heard the same calling in someway, and made the decision to make a sacrifice for service. It may be tempting to complain, or feel sorry for ourselves, whenever something happens as catastrophic as the lid popping off of Marshall's cup of milk and he has a total meltdown. Try instead to follow the lead of veterans, don't complain, and just do what needs to be done.

2. Don't expect gratitude. All those in the service go about the business of protecting us, and giving up so much, and they do this without any guarantee of receiving any gratitude. In fact, if not for Veterans Day, or possibly Memorial Day, a lot of people would not take the time to thank them. In your life, you will not be able to be effective if you wait on gratitude from others. Soldiers don't have the luxury of having an off day, just waiting for someone to give them a pick-me-up.

You may play sports, or go to school, or work, and be mad because no one has shown you appreciation, or even worse, has shown it to someone else. There may come a time when I forget to say how awesome Marshall did when he makes a basket on his little hoop, but go on and on about how great Maggie is at holding her head up. However, try again to follow the lead of our heroes, and do your job, and find your own internal motivation, because gratitude may never come from someone else (although I promise to try to show it as much as I can). Which brings me to my next point:

3. Give gratitude every chance you can. Even though I do not want you to rely on praise, you better give it as much as you can to others. Everyone could use a pick-me-up, or just to know that someone recognizes their accomplishments. Marshall already looks for praise when he throws a toy in the toy box, and Maggie even gives up smiles for praise (or the baby talk voice it's given in). Which reminds me, give your Mom praise every single day.

Even though they do not asked to be thanks, Veterans need to be. You may be with a group of people, or just out in public, and might be scared to approach a Veteran and thank them. If you want to get smacked in the back of the head, by me, as fast as possible, then walk past a veteran and show any disrespect, or don't thank them for their service.

Unfortunately, there was a time that I was too embarrassed to show my thanks. I learned to set that mentality aside from an unlikely source. One summer your mom and I took a vacation to Las Vegas and Hawaii. On the flight we sat next to a guy who looked like some kind of hippie from Colorado. He had big, hoop earrings, tattoos up his neck, and was wearing all black. After getting to know the man, it turns out he wrote for some liberal newspaper, so we didn't have that much in common. After we got off the plane, however, he showed me that I should be more like him.

In the airport, there were families waiting in the lobby of the airport, and my new friend stopped at each veteran and thank them for their service. At first it seemed a little cheesy. After all, I had done this before, but I guess I just wasn't in the mood at that particular time. It was kind of quiet, so I didn't want to draw attention by stopping and talking to people. Then I had the privilege of seeing a few families reunite with these heroes in fatigues. I realized as I watch them embrace and cry in front of everyone in the airport, how stupid it was for me to think it was too cheesy or would take too much of my time, to stop and thank these people for their service. So I can guarantee I will never make that mistake again, and neither will you.

 4. Help those who need it. The primary job of those in-service is to defend our country. This is a full-time, and very dangerous, job on its own. Those in service don't stop there, they are also ready to help others who need it, and even go over and train those who can't do it themselves. As I write this letter, France is still recovering from some of attacks they just suffered, and the number one sentiment I see from all those in service, is that they are chomping at the bit to run over there, where it's dangerous, and help a country who needs it. It is truly selfless and incredible.

It is tempting at times to just worry about yourself and the things you have going on. It may seem a lot easier to just rush past the guy who fell down on his way to the bathroom, to make sure you get to the crapper first. However, follow the lead of veterans, and train, and be ready, to help those who need it. Luckily, Marshall is already figuring this out, because i know that climbing through the couch-barricade, shaking Maggie's swing until she wakes up, and then kissing her so hard she had a puddle of drool on her forehead, is just your way of helping her have a good time.

5. Time is precious, appreciate every second of it. With the exception of the occasional business trip, or late night night at the office, we are going to see each other every day. Every day I get to hold Marshall's always growing, getting-too-long-to-hold-while-sitting little body and feel his little straw head of hair brush my face just before his fingers come up to claw at it. And every day I get to hold Maggie, who is always perfectly warm and content, but a major wiggler just like her brother. And of course, you both have my favorite chubby little cheeks.

Families of those in the service are not so lucky, So when they see each other after months or even years apart, there is an outpouring of emotion that is so strong, your dad can't really watch it without my allergies kicking it. It is a luxury many don't have, that we see each other, and others we love, so often, But that doesn't make it any less special for precious. Please don't take it for granted. Always hug like you mean it (because I hate half ass hugs anyway), and try to remember to enjoy every second together, even when you two are going to annoy the crap out of each other.

Time is so precious, and thanks to those veterans, we get to have it.

Thanks for reading.

Love,
Dad