Thinking about Not Thinking
Dear Little Ones,
As I write this, we are on day 271 of pregnancy #2. I can finally see the finish line of this marathon, that felt like it has been uphill through quicksand. As the anticipation grows from getting closer to meeting my baby girl, I am starting to get more restless and I can't stop poking the outside of the container holding you, just like a kid at Christmas who just won't leave the presents under the tree alone. Not only am I about to explode from the excitement of having another master of destruction/expert diaper filler, in the house, but I also can't help but reflect on a simple question: What the hell were we thinking?
In all fairness, it is possible that Marshall set the bar of difficulty
for being a parent way too low. You were the easiest baby ever, and it
all started from Day 1. Around week 36, the summer was dragging on, and
you reached out and pulled the plug on your Mom's water, and 14 hours
later it was all history. Everything up to that point had been a
whirlwind as we got ready for you, and the second a few things got
settled, out you came. No waiting, no dragging on, and no problems. (Sidenote: Thank you for being so awesome. Sorry for the little girl that is about to blow up your world)
My little princess, however, has been a whole different story. You have brought on some contractions, getting us all excited, and then just stopped suddenly. Week 36 came, and it went, and there were no signs of you. Then week 37, and now 38 is still going. I don't know why weeks 1-34 were over in the blink of an eye, but 35-now have felt about like the amount of time between Cubs World Series Championships. Either you have a natural knack for making appearances, or you are just being a diva. Either way, my hairline is going to be (more) screwed.
When we decided (?) to become parents, I just figured that everything would fall into place. Parents are these all-knowing, life-together, responsible, and financially-set adults who have it all figured out. For some reason, I though all of these things would just show up. The hospital gives us a baby, then gives me a software update, like I'm an Iphone, and I would have all the necessary parent skills to be awesome at it. Unfortunately, I must have a bug in my programming, because these things haven't shown up. And before I could get transferred to the right guy in customer service to figure this thing out, I am becoming a Dad, again.
Becoming a Dad is probably the coolest, and definitely the most important thing I have ever done. Life was already really awesome for us, and then adding a baby made things interesting. I guess things were going either too great, or too easy, so we decided to mix it up some more. It feels like a warden should have been keeping an eye on me, but they weren't, and now I have doubled the size of my family before the his coffee break ended. I am paying it back by going through a much longer and more difficult pregnancy this time through.
It is possible that our lack of planning may have contributed to some of the hardships through pregnancy #2, including: going through the summer (again), extending pregnancy through 2 years, doing extensive remodeling on our house (again), and going through this all with a little man running wild. If we had planned better (or at all), it is possible things may have slowed down before bringing you 2 into this cagematch I am having with life, but probably not. Waiting for things to slow down would be like waiting for good customer service from the cable company.
I am beginning to accept that I will probably never be one of those totally-together adults who makes life look like a nice schedule that I am executing just as I planned it. I suppose I knew this all along, so I always knew what I was thinking when we decided to bring two Tasmanian Devils into this madness. Since it is going to be so crazy anyway, may as well get to it. (Besides, the sooner we have kids, the sooner they would be moving out)
Baby girl- so please follow my lead, and come on out already. Marshall-just keep doing what you are doing. To you both-things will probably never go as I have planned, so hold on tight, and let's just enjoy going through this together, and not worry about trying to explain it, because I can't anyway.
Love,
Dad
As I write this, we are on day 271 of pregnancy #2. I can finally see the finish line of this marathon, that felt like it has been uphill through quicksand. As the anticipation grows from getting closer to meeting my baby girl, I am starting to get more restless and I can't stop poking the outside of the container holding you, just like a kid at Christmas who just won't leave the presents under the tree alone. Not only am I about to explode from the excitement of having another master of destruction/expert diaper filler, in the house, but I also can't help but reflect on a simple question: What the hell were we thinking?
 |
| Just filling diapers. |
My little princess, however, has been a whole different story. You have brought on some contractions, getting us all excited, and then just stopped suddenly. Week 36 came, and it went, and there were no signs of you. Then week 37, and now 38 is still going. I don't know why weeks 1-34 were over in the blink of an eye, but 35-now have felt about like the amount of time between Cubs World Series Championships. Either you have a natural knack for making appearances, or you are just being a diva. Either way, my hairline is going to be (more) screwed.
When we decided (?) to become parents, I just figured that everything would fall into place. Parents are these all-knowing, life-together, responsible, and financially-set adults who have it all figured out. For some reason, I though all of these things would just show up. The hospital gives us a baby, then gives me a software update, like I'm an Iphone, and I would have all the necessary parent skills to be awesome at it. Unfortunately, I must have a bug in my programming, because these things haven't shown up. And before I could get transferred to the right guy in customer service to figure this thing out, I am becoming a Dad, again.
It is possible that our lack of planning may have contributed to some of the hardships through pregnancy #2, including: going through the summer (again), extending pregnancy through 2 years, doing extensive remodeling on our house (again), and going through this all with a little man running wild. If we had planned better (or at all), it is possible things may have slowed down before bringing you 2 into this cagematch I am having with life, but probably not. Waiting for things to slow down would be like waiting for good customer service from the cable company.
Baby girl- so please follow my lead, and come on out already. Marshall-just keep doing what you are doing. To you both-things will probably never go as I have planned, so hold on tight, and let's just enjoy going through this together, and not worry about trying to explain it, because I can't anyway.
Love,
Dad
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